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🐐🎧🎶 Ink, Lies & Alibis
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🐐🎧🎶 Ink, Lies & Alibis

🎤 A Fraud-Fueled Country Tale of Heartbreak and Escrow Woe from WTF Radio

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🎶 Ink, Lies, and Alibis

Country Fraud-Core for the Title Industry

In this heart-wrenching (yet weirdly toe-tapping) ballad, we follow the story of a title agent who did everything right…

Except one thing: they didn’t use Positive Pay. 😬

And that’s how Clyde—somewhere in Georgia—rode off into the sunset with a stolen check, a new guitar, and maybe a boat.

This song’s for every title processor who’s had to:

✔️ Cancel a closing because of missing funds

✔️ File a fraud claim while trying not to cry

✔️ Explain to a consumer that, yes, “check washing” is real

✔️ Be the hero after a system failure nobody saw coming

You’re not alone.

But if you're still mailing checks without protections?

You might be next. 🎯

✅ What You Should Do Today:

  • Ask your escrow bank if they offer Positive Pay (most do).

  • Call your software vendor. Find out if they have integration with your bank to facilitate positive pay - most do

  • Enable it for all outgoing checks—immediately.

  • Train your team on proper check handling and mail procedures.

  • Buy a new pen. Black gel pens are more difficult to wash off because the ink binds with the paper fibers.

Other steps you should be thinking about:

  1. Make sure you're purchasing check paper with security features. This is one no one ever talks about. Not all checks are created equal. Personally, I've been doing business with ASAPChecks for over 20 years and I recommend them to all of my title clients.

  2. Consider moving to wires when possible—less paper, more control.

  3. Consider working with a payment processing & fraud detection firm like Rynoh, ClosingLock or CertifID.

  4. While you're at it, check out the Wire Fraud Prevention Kit available in the Wicked Easy Shop.

🔐 Avoid Being the Star of Your Own Fraud Ballad

🎁 Download the Wire Fraud Prevention Easy Kit:

✅ Consumer Marketing Materials - flyers, social media posts, articles

✅ Operations Manual Pages

✅ Customer Education & Communication Templates

🔗 Grab the kit now »

Yes! I Need This!

This is everything you wish you had before Clyde washed your check and your will to live.


📢 Your Turn

🎧 Listen, laugh, learn, then:

▶️ Share this with your escrow manager, ops director, or anyone who still prints checks like it’s 1999.


🖤 Subscribe to Wicked Title Forum for more tools, tunes, and fraud-fighting realness.

Let’s make sure the next country song is about winning closings, not losing money.

You don’t have to do this job alone.

You just have to hit “subscribe.”


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🎤 Lyrics: Ink, Lies, and Alibis

I was ridin’ high, had a file to close
Dropped that check in the mail, heaven only knows
Headed to the lender with a stamp and a prayer
But come Monday mornin’—that check wasn’t there

My processor’s cryin’, the lender’s on hold
Payoff gal said, “That check’s gone cold”
Pulled up the bank feed, my blood ran dry
It was cashed in Georgia by some dude named Clyde

They washed my check—but not my tears
Been bleachin’ ink for twenty years
He changed the name, rewrote the pay
But he ain’t messin’ with my file today

I might be broke, I might be fried
But you can’t kill a closer’s pride
You took my funds, but not my fight
That crook’s goin’ down—I’ll see to it tonight

The bank said, “Ma’am, you should use Positive Pay”
I said, “Thanks, Carl—I’ll do that yesterday”
Drank three Diet Cokes, I’m beggin’ the Feds
And retracin’ steps like sniffing purebreds

I rang up Rynoh, hit up ClosingLock
Told my escrow crew, we're the new Fort Knox
Now every check’s secure, every vendor’s cleared
And my compliance chief ain’t besmeared

They washed my check, but I washed my hands
Of trustin’ the mail and scammin’ clans
Now I use wires and two-step checks
Ain’t no fraud gonna bounce my next

I’m older, wiser, got some gray
But I’ll close these deals come hell or late pay
You can steal my cash, but not my soul
'Cause title girls always stay in control

So here’s to the agents who cried on the line
When the payoff fell through at the worst dang time
Keep your docs in order and your spirit tight—
And belt this tune on a fraud-filled night 🎶


Stay Wicked,
Cheryl

If you enjoy my writing, please support me with a clap, comment, follow, or subscribe.

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